The Cold
by StarCatBurning
Summary: What's a man to do when he's got a cold?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: The usual stuff. And nope, I don't own Teen Titans. Wish I did, though...**

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

Batman had gotten a cold. Yes, a cold. At present, he was sitting, rather miserably, in front of the fire, wrapped up like a cocoon in his cape and a woolly pink blanket with his cowl jammed rather unceremoniously over his head. He sniffled. There was a cup of tea sitting on a small stool beside him, but he'd been wrapped up so firmly that he couldn't even move his fingers, much less his arms. or his legs, for that matter, so he wasn't going anywhere. So much for the tea. Not that he wanted to drink it, anyway.

It definitely _wasn't_ his fault he was here. In fact, it was Alfred's. When the butler had pinned him down at the door, and flatly refused his going out (and whatever Alfred said about Bruce's health, he had better darned listen to), Bruce had vehemently refused. He'd said that it was his duty as Batman to patrol the city, cold or not, and no way was he staying- what was that? _No, thank you_, he did _not_ want a cup of tea. Upon hearing this, Alfred had taken immediate action, and a few minutes later, Batman had found himself wrapped up in this ridiculous blanket, effectively immobilised. And with a cup of _tea _beside him, too. Oh, the irony.

Yes, Nightwing _had _been called in from Bludhaven, and he wasn't too happy about it -who would be getting dragged out of bed at 1.30 am on a winter night?

Starfire had _not_ been pleased, either. She had made a video call to Bruce after she learned the reason why Dick was gone, threatening to rip out Batman's, er, _nether regions_ (she used a _slightly _different term) and have him go and perform anal penetration on himself. That being the nicer interpretation of her message. Bruce just reckoned she wanted snuggles from Dick.

And _yes_, Robin had been instructed to go on different patrol routes that night to cover up for Batman, but still, Batman felt that he should be the one out there, actually _doing_ something, not sitting here and brooding. Batman wrinkled his nose. Oh, crap.

"Ahhh... Ahhh... Atchooo!" The Dark Knight flew backwards off the stool.

Suddenly, the doorknob rattled. Good, Batman thought. Alfred's finally relented. However, it was Starfire who poked her head around the door. "Dick? Is that you? You must come home, now, no matter what Bruce says, I wish for the 'snuggling'!" Batman almost snorted out loud. Now he knew just _what_ they did alone at night. The more rational side of his brain said, "Keep quiet! Did you remember what she wanted to do to you?" He tried keeping silent, but as it was, a small sound escaped from him. Starfire looked around for the source of the noise, and once she locked onto Batman, a mischievous gleam spread across her brilliant green eyes and a small smile twisted her lips.

"Hello, _Batman_." An involuntary noise, like someone had trodden on a mouse, escaped his lips. Slowly, deliberately, she stalked over to his prone form, enjoying the absolute control she had over him. Not every day do you have Batman totally immobilised and delivered almost on a silver platter to you. She bent over. "I trust you are... Enjoying yourself?" Yes, he _was_. If only she knew._ Damn, that cleavage..._

Her hair tumbled in a waterfall over her shoulder, the ends lighting up in a dancing flame that seemed to echo her mood.

Even in his (relatively) old age, Batman- or rather Bruce Wayne- still made a pretty good playboy, and at present his drool was practically hitting the ground. Not that it had that much to go, anyway- his head was just a couple of centimetres above the wooden floorboards. She leaned close, recognising the effect she had on him, her fingertips just brushing his chest. She whispered in his ear. "Bruce, I need to ask you something." That sultry look, those fluttering eyelashes, that low, sexy voice, was just more than he could bear. A rush of blood came between his legs so violently that he was sure Starfire would've noticed, even through all that blanket. She did.

"Bruce, I was thinking that in your... unfortunate absence, I could patrol Gotham for you. In your suit."

That snapped him out of it. "_WHAT?_ No way are you wearing my suit! It's mine!"

"Surely a man like you would be wise enough as to keep the 'extras', Bruce."

"Well you can't have my extras."

She pouted. "Well, you would let Catwoman if she asked... Dick has told me often that you have 'the thing' going on with her."

He turned red. "I don't! There's no such thing! And don't change the subject! You're not wearing my extras, and that's final!"

Her expression suddenly turned serious, the smile as though wiped off by an invisible whiteboard eraser. "Then perhaps I may have to make do with the one you are wearing."

She slowly moved to his cowl, peeling it back, her fingers trailing his shoulders, her fingers deftly forcing the tight bodysuit away from his shoulders.

He froze. Well, he became more immobilised than before, if one were to nitpick. "Wh...What are you doing?"He felt a chill, and it definitely _wasn't_ the night air. She ignored him, slipping a hand down into the blanket, and Batman suddenly felt very, very warm, something that had nothing to do with the blanket at all. She traced his rigid, toned abdominal muscles, smiling at him with what he suddenly found to be sharper-than-necessary teeth. She slid lower, and lower, testing him. Batman made a noise somewhere between a squeak and a whimper.

"Fine!" It was a drawn out, gasping breath, laced with defeat. "You win. Now get your damn hand OUT OF MY PANTS!"

One last playful squeeze. "The password, Bruce."

"What password? I don't-" His voice was strangled.

"I am sure you know very well what I mean, Bruce. You keep all your suits under the 'lock and key'. I need the key." Her eyes glowed, powerfully, and the next thing he knew Bruce had been hoisted helplessly into the air and slammed against a wall.

_Damnit_, he thought._ This is the last time I'm letting my son marry a freaking ALIEN._ She bared her teeth. "Tell me. Now." Why, oh why couldn't he escape? He cursed Alfred and his self- knitted, too- tight woolly _things_, (for lack of a better word) of which his present captive was one. (The blanket, not Starfire.)

"3120! Now let go of me! And get out!" The Caped Crusader, fallen victim to a _woolly pink rug_ and a _girl. _It would be the death of him when Dick found out. _If_ Dick found out, he reminded himself, for one cannot possibly count on their eldest sons to find out everything that has happened to their father. Then again, one very well might when it came to Dick Grayson.

Starfire turned sweet again, with no trace left at all of her former ferocity."Oh, Bruce, '3120' is 'cat' in numerals. "

"I said, OUT!"

-To Be Continued-

Please Review!

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><p><strong>He really needs to learn how to stay on Starfire's good side... Poor Bruce.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Usual disclaimers apply. I don't own Teen Titans, but I want to. (Doesn't everyone?)**

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

The night was going in a way that even Robin hadn't wanted it to go; a couple of hours on the new patrol route and he already had blood on his hands. Not his own, though. Harley's face was bright red with fury and blood was trickling from her cut upper lip.

"We'll be seein' who's goin' down tonight, birdie boy." A few more rounds and Robin found himself pinned on his stomach to the cold, unforgiving cement rooftop, turned chilly in the blue winter air. Harley sat astride him, kneeling above him, twisting his arm painfully behind his back. She leered at him, her breath clouding the air. She was forcing his arm out even further out from its socket, till the pain was getting unbearable, and he found it hard to breathe. The winter air wasn't helping his predicament much, either. He let out an involuntary gasp as red spots danced tauntingly in his peripheral vision. _Bruce would have never let it happen_, he thought, but Bruce wasn't there. He hadn't even told Robin why, just that he was not going to be present.

"_I'b nod cubbin'!" Bruce had insisted through the earpiece, and Robin wondered what trouble he'd gotten himself into this time. Perhaps he'd been less-than-satisfactory during his and Selina's nighttime ventures, and she had felt obliged to give him a souvenir (yes, Robin _knew. _ Not like it was that much of a big secret in the Manor anyway- one could just tell by the strange noises keeping Robin awake at night…) Robin knew something was wrong, and being personally trained by the Dark Knight himself, he'd learned to spot when that was the case. It wasn't all that hard though, given Bruce's suddenly too-loud, and insistent speech. Not to mention that it sounded suspiciously like a broken nose. Or a blocked one._

Harley's shrill screeching laughter met his ears like the shatter of broken glass on flesh, each sharp cry searing deeper into his consciousness. The dull, burning pain, rocking back and forth in his skull, had escalated to such a degree that he almost begged for it to end. A dull 'snap' reverberated through his skull, making him dimly aware of the fact that his arm had broken. It was as if pea soup had been forcibly injected into his brain, and he was moving in a thick haze.

Harley's voice sounded dimly above him. "You likin' this, sugah puddin'?"

"Ahhh…" It was a dull, dry moan erupting from the back of his throat.

Suddenly, he saw a large, dark shape descend from the heavens. A dark angel, come to take him away to wherever it was they took people.

That same dark shape rammed the heavy weight away from his back with a snarl. Robin flipped over, winded, and gasping, curled up with his broken arm to his side.

Harley was not in the very least pleased. "_Batsy?_" Robin would have grinned at the familiar cowl, the pointed ears, were he not in so much pain. Harley was kicked aside, knocked away with ferocity, rammed against a wall, and _growled _at. Robin observed the brawling, for he could do little else, and found after some observation that something was wrong. Batman was more… brutal.

Sure, Bruce Wayne had never been one to go soft, but it was more like Robin was watching Harley getting mauled by a very large cat. Harley couldn't have been trashed more quickly enough than anyone in the history of, erm, getting trashed. (At least, that was what Beast Boy would so very fondly put it as. Robin would much prefer to use 'getting defeated'.)

Just as Robin wondered _what_ could have possibly gotten into Batman that night (maybe a cup of coffee too much?) Batman stepped away from the motionless lump on the roof that was Harley's prone body, cape flapping, fists alight with streaks of trailing green fire that swirled in the air, setting it ablaze with an eerie glow… Wait. _Green fire?_

He felt a rush of air towards him, and then suddenly found himself supported by an arm under his back.

"Tim? Are you the 'okay'?" a concerned voice asked, clouded with incessant worry. It was Big Sister.

"Starfire?" he croaked, bewildered. "Why are you… _Batman?_"

She shook her head, cradling him gently. "It is a long story. But you need rest, Tim. Perhaps you will require me to escort you back to the Manor...?"

He struggled free from her grasp and stood up, cradling his arm and wincing a little. "I'm fine. Nightwing's gonna meet us here soon. I can handle it. At least for a while more." Also, he could do without Dick pretend-fainting whenever he met Tim in the corridor for the next month, something learnt from personal experience. As if he didn't have anything better to do. Boys.

Then he remembered he _was_ one.

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><p><strong>Hmm. Nightwing. This might get a little complicated... <strong>

**Please review! Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yay. Almost done here.**

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

They waited, backs turned to the frigid wind. For a long minute, there was silence. Finally, Robin spoke.

"So… Bruce actually _allowed _you to wear his suit?"

Something akin to a smirk appeared on Starfire's face.

"Yes. With a little – _persuasion, _of course. Are you sure that you are the 'okay', Tim?"

He felt like passing out, but of course there was no way he'd tell her that. "Nightwing should be here in a moment." Oh, just jolly well changing the subject, of course. Robin had to be good at things like that…

As he spoke, a slight movement at the corner of Tim's eye brought their attention to a dark shape that somersaulted out of the air to land in a kneel at their feet.

Nightwing stood. "Tim. Bruce."

Robin would have sniggered if he wasn't still hurting so much. As it was, a small smile turned over his lips. "Hey, bro."

Right. He had stayed here long enough. Time to take his leave. He surreptitiously stuck his broken arm out just a little more, so it caught the light of the moon. Of course Dick noticed. He had been trained to. Nightwing jerked his chin at Robin's broken arm. "What happened?"

"Harley," muttered Tim, just about getting a resentful look to creep across his face.

Nightwing nodded. "Better get you back to the Manor to get fixed up, then. I hear Alfred's offering tea." He smiled.

Any other time and Robin would have protested against it violently, but now tea seemed like a good idea. A very good idea indeed. "I'll take over for Tim then, now that you're here," Nightwing suggested. Batman, or rather Starfire, just nodded, keeping silent.

"I'm going then," muttered Tim, as he leapt off the rooftop and landed, cape flapping, in the street.

Nightwing often wished he hadn't gotten rid of the Robin cape. However, it was rather unnecessary in his line of work. A cape would just get caught on things and would alert villains that he was upon them. Screw Batman - _his _cape only made him look even bigger than he already was. However, he missed the cape. It was fire resistant - a fact he'd repeatedly had his life saved by - and well, it made him look cool. Besides, it hid his derrière nicely from drooling fangirls.

The two dark figures leapt from rooftop to rooftop, Nightwing savouring the thrill as he raced alongside his old mentor. Those were the times, when he'd been Robin, and the Dynamic Duo had maintained justice in Gotham. But he'd left to form the Titans, and Batman had been left alone. But Batman wasn't Bruce Wayne for nothing - he'd soon after adopted Jason Todd, and when Robin had been poised to become Nightwing - to get an upgrade, in that sense - it had been Jason who was ready to take on the mantle of Robin.

But Jason had died.

Bruce was alone again, but then Tim Drake had stumbled upon Robin's identity, and so, (with a little persuasion) _he _became the next Robin. The current one. Nightwing was proud of his brother for being brave enough, and responsible enough, to take on that role, but he did miss being Robin. And now he finally had the chance again. He was alone with Bruce, patrolling Gotham, and there was nowhere else he'd rather be now. Even the thought of sleep no longer appealed to him.

He turned mid- jump during a large gap between two buildings, and time seemed to freeze. The glittering backdrop of stars struggling to stay alight in the midst of the haze of the streetlamps that joined their glow caught Batman in a timeless silhouette, and Nightwing, being Nightwing, started to notice that something was wrong. There was a sudden grace to Batman's movements, a fluidity he had never observed before, and with a start he noticed that Batman was wrong, the whole physique of him, more slender, less bulky.

He tackled the impostor - for he was sure by now that was who he was - in midair, and brought them crashing down onto the roof. He pinned the impostor's wrists to the ground, getting right in his face, and snarling, "I don't know who the hell you are, or how you freaking managed to get that suit, but you're no Batman. Who are you?"

The figure responded with a throaty growl, and forced Nightwing's wrists off his own with a sharp flick that sent him reeling backwards, wrists screaming in pain. They felt twisted.

Nightwing launched himself at the figure, escrima sticks at the ready, but the figure darted forward, and _shoved _him. Shoved him. Nightwing stumbled over backwards, surprised at the surprising show of strength, but quickly regained balance, throwing himself at the impostor in a flurry of fists and feet.

Eventually, the mysterious impostor had been forced up against a wall. Nightwing grabbed his shoulders, leaning in, and hissed, "Who the heck are you?"

The figure leaned forward too. "You may call me... _Batwoman_."

Nightwing reeled back, shocked. "K...Kory?" Starfire's eyes glittered with mischief. "Hello, Dick."

"What? Why are you... Aren't you supposed to be... Why are you in Bruce's... How the hell did you get..."

Starfire purred. "You cannot have all the fun as Nightwing, yes?"

Nightwing stared. "Why, you cheeky..." A grin came over his face, and he tickled her ribs. She squealed, and flipped over the top of his head using her flight. She pounced at him from behind, tackling him to the ground and yowling as they rolled over each other. He disentangled himself, standing up, and watched as she rolled over into a crouch.

There was a moment's silence, her cape fluttering in the wind as she growled, arching her back like a bull, Nightwing being the matador.

Then she rushed at him, which he sidestepped, much to her surprise - he could sense it - flipped her around so she was facing him, and silenced her with a kiss.

It went on, long and passionate, in which she wrapped her legs around his waist, gripping his belt in order to kiss him better. Her hair was set alight, dancing sparks swirling in the night air, and she relaxed against him, fitting perfectly into the hollow of his chest. Slowly they rocked back and forth, savouring each other's sweet scent.

Nightwing pulled on Starfire's hand. "Let's go home."

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><p><strong>The kiss scene was pulled straight from <em>Titans Vol. 2 16: A Considerable Lack of Joy<em>. Except for the costume change of course. Hehheh.**


	4. Chapter 4

**So this is it - the ending. Hope you guys enjoyed the story! Oh and for those who aren't familiar:**

**Kory - Starfire**

**Barbara - Batgirl/Oracle**

**Dick - Nightwing**

**Tim - Robin**

**Bruce - Batman (but we all knew that already, right? ...Right?)**

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><p>Chapter 4<p>

Dawn was breaking over Wayne Manor, stretching golden rays onto the concrete landscape of Gotham City, and prompting Tim Drake to awaken and collect the newspaper from the front door.

He read the headline as he returned to the dining table where everyone was eating breakfast, eyebrows raised, and chuckling, passed it to Kory. She giggled, shooting a quick glance at Bruce before giving the paper to Barbara, or Babs, as she was more affectionately known. The redhead read the headline with a close-to-mortified expression on her face, looking first to Dick, then to Bruce as she read, then back to Dick with an 'ew - men' expression on her face, then she chucked it at Dick, whom, after reading it, first blanched, then turned an interesting shade of scarlet that would have put the Joker's lips to shame.

"Give it here," Bruce said without bothering to look up from breakfast, reaching out a hand for the paper.

"Erm, Bruce? I don't think - "Dick was cut off as, quicker than Kid Flash, Bruce snatched the newspaper away from Dick's fingers. He stared at it with a bored expression on his face, somewhat like a ruminating cow, before half a second later...

"RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON! YOU WILL COME HERE, NOW!" Dick fled from the room, speeding round the left turn in the corridor Charlie Chaplin style. He raced up the stairs two at a time, startling Alfred, who nearly dropped the tray of tea he was carrying. Bruce slammed the paper onto the table and ran out of the room, his expression furious.

Kory and Tim looked at each other, then laughed. Babs rolled her eyes, and the three of them went off to join the commotion.

Back on the table, the discarded paper lay, proudly displaying a photo of Dick and Kory's kiss, followed by the headline - three big words: IS BATMAN GAY?

-END-

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><p><strong>Kay, show's over. Hope you enjoyed it! Please review, constructive criticism is most welcome!<strong>


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